Abbott and Costello Meet Windows 95

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For those of you who are not familiar with the comedy of Abbott and Costello, their "Who's on First?" routine is a classic (and perhaps one of the best things they ever did.) You can find the complete text of this routine plus sound bites at
Abbott and Costello's "Who's on First?"

Costello:  Hey, Abbott!
Abbott:    Yes, Lou?
Costello:  I just got my first computer.
Abbott:    That's great Lou. What did you get?
Costello:  A Pentium II-266, with 40 Megs of RAM, a 2.1 Gig 
           hard drive, and a 24X CD-ROM.
Abbott:    That's terrific, Lou
Costello:  But I don't know what any of it means!!
Abbott:    You will in time.
Costello:  That's exactly why I am here to see you.
Abbott:    Oh?
Costello:  I heard that you are a real computer expert.
Abbott:    Well, I don't know-
Costello:  Yes-sir-ee. You know your stuff. And you're going 
           to train me.
Abbott:    Really?
Costello:  Uh huh. And I am here for my first lesson.
Abbott:    O.K. Lou. What do want to know?
Costello:  I am having no problem turning it on, but I heard 
           that you should be very careful how you turn it off.
Abbott:    That's true.
Costello:  So, here I am working on my new computer and I want
           to turn it off. What do I do?
Abbott:    Well, first you press the Start button, and then-
Costello:  No, I told you, I want to turn it off.
Abbott:    I know, you press the Start button-
Costello:  Wait a second. I want to turn it off. Off. I know 
           how to start it. So tell me what to do.
Abbott:    I did.
Costello:  When?
Abbott:    When I told you to press the Start button.
Costello:  Why should I press the Start button?
Abbott:    To shut off the computer.
Costello:  I press Start to stop.
Abbott:    Well Start doesn't actually stop the computer.
Costello:  I knew it! So what do I press.
Abbott:    Start
Costello:  Start what?
Abbott:    Start button.
Costello:  Start button to do what?
Abbott:    Shut down.
Costello:  You don't have to get rude!
Abbott:    No, no, no! That's not what I meant.
Costello:  Then say what you mean.
Abbott:    To shut down the computer, press-
Costello:  Don't say, "Start!"
Abbott:    Then what do you want me to say?
Costello:  Look, if I want to turn off the computer, I am 
           willing to press the Stop button, the End button
           and Cease and Desist button, but no one in their
           right mind presses the Start to Stop.
Abbott:    But that's what you do.
Costello:  And you probably Go at Stop signs, and Stop at 
           green lights.
Abbott:    Don't be ridiculous.
Costello:  I am being ridiculous? Well. I think it's about
           time we started this conversion.
Abbott:    What are you talking about?
Costello:  I am starting this conversation right now. Good-bye.

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